In These Times
by EternalShadow54
Summary: These are the recorded documents of just another soldier in the line of Equestria's greatest war. Ever since the start of the bickering between the New Lunar Republic and the Solar Empire, there have been countless battles and accounts of the war. This... is just one of the many ponies thoughts and trials throughout his short time in the service to the Solar Empire...
1. Prologue

**In These Times...**  
**By EternalShadow54-**

_"When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die..." -Unknown_

"What do you suppose happened down here?" the armored pony asked, his friend to the side holding his snout to avoid the stench.

I'm not sure, but whatever it was... it certainly couldn't have been good..."

"Found one!" a voice cried out from the end of the tunnel. The two quickly galloped to the origin of the call to come upon what looked like a still almost breathing body. Its face was scarred, and his coat was drenched in blood.

"The body is still warm..." one said, looking at the corpse with pity.

"Hmmm? What's this?" the other said, looking beside the body to find a rough leather journal lying to the side. There was a note tied to the back, and it was bloodstained from the crimson blade above it.

"If only he'd waited just a bit longer..." the third sighed, turning to his friend that had just picked something up. "What did you find?"

"It looks to be a journal of the sort..." he said, flipping through the pages. "It's far from done though..."

"We shouldn't keep that... it... doesn't feel right..." the first said. His conscious was never one to do things that just naturally seemed wrong.

"Who said anything about keeping it?" the one with the book argued, turning to the front page. "I think it would be a shame if we didn't read it and see what goes through the minds of our fellow comrades. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Well... yes, but I don't think-" He was quickly silenced by the other as the stallion with the book began to read...


	2. The First Entry

Journal Log, Entry #1-  
Date: September 3rd, The Season of Youth...

My first day out in combat! (Well, technically...) I can hardly believe it! I mean, I've always had a love for fighting and showing off my abilities and such, but to actually be allowed to serve Equestria in its darkest time under the command of Celestia herself is more than an honor in itself. The Solar Empire wasn't exactly what I thought it would be though. I figured there would be less mares, but in these times, I guess anything is possible. Still... I can't help but feel a rather bit... well, I'm not sure... I mean, Luna wasn't the best of princesses, but why would she lead a rebellion against her own sister? Wasn't sharing the crown of rule enough?

Regardless, the full week of training was pretty strenuous to say the least, but nothing that I couldn't handle. Besides, the knowledge that I'm protecting innocent ponies everywhere makes the pain and stress worth it. The need to meet my foe out there on the field has never been greater, and I'm glad my sister gave me this journal to record my thoughts, even if I did have to fake thinking that it was a rather stupid idea. How surprised will she be to see it full by the time I return home! Celestia knows that I already miss them, and I plan to ask my special somepony to marry me the day I come back. That's worth fighting for... right? As Celestia always said, we fight for a brighter future, and the phrase couldn't be any more true. Father... mother... sister... I'll make you proud... I ship out for some fort tomorrow morning. I wonder if I'll make any friends out here... The war couldn't have affect anypony TOO much by now, seeing as it started only about a month ago. Oh well... but, you never know...


	3. Entry 5

Journal Log, Entry #5-  
Date: October 6th, The Season of Youth...

A month... A WHOLE MONTH in service and I have yet to see a single glimpse of action. Being stuck here on guard duty really grows rather tiresome after a while, especially when I see so many sick and injured brought in from the battle near the valley not too far off south from this fort. Not completely sure how I should feel about saying this, but at this pace I'll be out there showing my skills in no time! I do have one concern however... I've heard that the New Lunar Republic has taken to capturing and torturing our soldiers... and that many of which that they send back... take their own life because of which... I can't even begin to imagine what kind of horrible things they must do to have those poor stallions and mares break like that. Even so, I still hear veteran fighters talk about how it feels to kill another pony. The guilt and shame they feel after taking another life... I mean, I wouldn't personally know myself, but we are fighting ponies who fail to see the error of their ways, and even worse, call those errors the correct way of living!

Everypony should have the right to live freely, and with Celestia we have that right! Does that take the sting and wrong out of committing the dark deed of taking life? No... but we have no other choice... If that means I have to go out there and slash my way through five legions of those republic scum to secure my family's future, then by the name of our glorious sun goddess, I'll fight until my dying breath! Sorry journal... kind of got carried away there... I need to write back to mother today however and check back on sis. I always knew that she wasn't exactly the winter type, but from mom's description, it seemed to be more than just a common cold... I don't know though. I mean, I've been known to be paranoid about those type of things, so I'm probably just being worried over nothing. She's strong, and she can pull through anything. I really miss them now... and can't wait to see their faces again... I guess that's another reason to fight... The faster this war is over, the sooner I get to see my family again...


	4. Entry 8

Journal Log, Entry #8-  
Date: October 17th, The Season of Youth...

More guard duty... more sick and wounded... more of the same old horseapples since I got here. On another note, the situation at the valley has become critical, and they are starting to pull random troops from their post to go and be reinforcements. We've even had to send some of the injured right back out there as soon as they healed. I commend those brave soldiers... I honestly do... because it can't be easy to lose and ear or a hoof and be right back in the battle after having the ligament either replaced, or amputated. I've seen some pretty heart-breaking things in my time, but the faces of those scarred ponies was almost unbearable. The worst part is that the general isn't exactly the nicest pony around, and those who refuse to step in line get to have a rather short meeting with one of his sharpest friends... if you get what I mean... but still... I want to do my part.

I mean, we are fighting for the right reasons... right? Of course... I don't exactly agree with the methods we are using to motivate our fellow comrades... but if that's what it takes to win this war, then so be it. It's not like the general enjoys being the bad pony, I'm sure, but somepony has to do it... or else we'd be in total chaos. Then where would we be? I guess that doing the same old thing isn't so bad whe-... The general just came to me with, what I believe to be, great news! I will finally be able to put my skills to the test in battle first thing tomorrow! I wonder if mailponies are able to get letters to me out in the field. I haven't received a reply from mother OR father since last week. I know that the traditional mail service is sluggish, but I'm worried... I really hope that sis is alright... I guess this is the infamous homesick feeling that everypony told me I would get before coming out here. Heh, it's a bit ironic actually... I'll be sure keep this journal up-to-date, even while I'm out there on the field. I ponder how the fighting is done... because... well, seeing as all is fair in love and war, I just have the strangest feeling that the training we all went through just won't cut it.

I'm almost certain that both sides will have unicorns using destructive magic, and as an earth pony I'm at a bit of a disadvantage... Not to mention how the battles must look from a pegasus point of view. All I know is that I will have to rely on every instinct I have if I want to make it back home without injury. It would be a great story to tell my children though... I mean, who wouldn't want to tell their young foals about how they lost an ear or how that scar was placed upon their face? Celestia knows I would! Regardless, I'm heading for the valley tomorrow... so I guess I should hit the hay before I end up staying up all night writing in this book...


	5. Entry 9

Journal Log, Entry #9-  
Date: October 18th, The Season of Youth...

Well, this certainly wasn't what I expected... We just received a report on the situation at the valley just before heading out telling all troops to arm up at the fort. Apparently, we lost... The defences at the valley couldn't hold, and the New Lunar Republic are advancing towards this fortress as we speak. They are estimated to be here within the next three days, the soldiers from which are reaping the spoils and taking armor from our fallen comrades. I don't see this turning out good in any aspect from any point of view... but we are a trained army! How in Celestia's name are we losing to a rag tag rebellion group!? In these times... I guess it really shouldn't come to much of a surprise... but I have to sometimes think back to the old fables about the Elements of Harmony, and how they defeated Luna (or should I say Nightmare Moon? I don't see the difference...) with only the elements of friendship.

Now... the elements have lived their lives... and we are left with nothing to stop Luna except sharpened steel... What has Equestria come to? Heh... listen to me... As I can recall from my earlier entries, I couldn't wait to get out there and show my skills behind the hilt of a blade, and I still can't, but... but I can't help but feel that all this could have somehow been avoided. I guess if there was another way, Celestia would have proposed it rather than war. The war has been going on about... three months now? I still haven't been able to get used to the sun and moon both being out at the same time. I can't begin to imagine how the farmers around Equestria are taking it. In all seriousness though, I really am starting to get worried... I should have received a letter by now... Maybe the letter got lost? Maybe the carrier was intercepted? Maybe... maybe I should stop worrying... I mean, it's not like anything bad has happened back home or anything... right? Look at me, talking to this book like it would have the answers. I guess I'll just have to be patient like everypony else here and wait for my mail. I hope it gets here before the New Lunar Republic though. I really need a boost after the letdown of today...


	6. Entry 11

Journal Log, Entry #11-  
Date: October 20th, The Season of Youth...

Hey there book... I... I have quite an entry for you today... Where... where should I begin... Well, for starters... please forgive me if any tears fall onto these pages... it's... it's just that I received a letter from mother today... and... and my sister didn't... didn't... she's gone... What... what ever it was she had... it was fatal... and she didn't pull through like I thought she would... and what better time to have obtained this new other than the day right before the attack? Heh... it's a bit ironic... how I thought that I would see everypony by the end of this... I'm sure that somewhere deep down, I kind of knew that something would happen while I was gone... I only wish that I was wrong... but what am I crying for? I've seen ponies come through here who have lost their entire lives because of the war and still have the will to fight. Who am I to mope over a single death in the family? Even... even if it was my sister...

I can overcome this... and she's in a better place... I just know it... I've sent a letter back to mom, hopefully the tear stains have dried by then, expressing my sorrow over the situation. I'm... I'm going to keep this journal... in memory of her... and maybe visit her grave one day... and read it out to her... She was always interested in my thoughts... and I was always glad to share them... Maybe that's why I accepted this little book of blank pages... Who knows? Well, I guess I better go prepare for the fight tomorrow... The general has been rather edgy lately. Is it possible that he received some bad news as well? Heh... I'm speaking like you know the answers again... but all I know is that I want to be home... to be with my family again... and to be there for them in this hard time... I... I only hope that they understand why I can't... and that I miss them... and that I love them... more than they'll ever know...


	7. Entry 12

Journal Log, Entry #12-  
Date: October... I think... The Season of Youth...

The battle at the fort was a total lost cause. We were overwhelmed within minutes of the attack, and many other ponies didn't make it... I was lucky to escape with my life. Me and a few other survivors have been running day and night non-stop. I'm really lucky to even get this entry in, but even highly trained soldiers need a break every now and then. We've been running for Celestia knows how long, but the months are starting to get cold... and this armor doesn't exactly retain the heat very well... Writing while running isn't exactly easy either, so excuse the choppiness of this entry...

I never was a winter pony myself, but I guess I'm going to have to learn to deal with it I guess. This is quite an interesting tale isn't is? The story of a soldier who couldn't even kill one foe in combat before having to retreat... I gotta say though, the grassy terrain accompanied by the soft mud produced by the rain is rather enjoyable..

I'm guessing that sarcasm doesn't translate onto paper as well as through the mind or verbal communication huh? Regardless, I'm having a terrible time out here running. I think that even if we are able to find another Solar Empire post before they catch up to us and capture us, we'll end up probably fighting against impossible odds again. I really wish I was able to get at least one of those accursed New Lunar Republic scum before having the order to retreat called... but the arrow skimming my left flank was quite enough for me anyways...

Heh, listen to that... I almost take a simple blow, and I'm already done with fighting... What would father say? Oh yea... father... I hope everypony back home is still doing alright, but I won't receive any news from them until the next outpost. I'm still feeling a bit of grief for my sister, but I've been able to hold my feelings back for the teams sake. Still... the sting holds a deep place in my heart... and I have the notation that it's going to be there for a long time after as well... Anyways, one of the troops just came over and told me to finish up. We are going to head out once more here in a minute, and if i'm not quick about this, they'll leave me. Heh, so much for watching out for each other huh?

I still long to be back with the family, and I know that one day after this stupid war that we'll be able to stand out in the beautiful sun of our beloved Celestia and laugh at the night... until then, I'll just have to press on through the obstacles in my way... I wonder if mom will make me that special breakfast when I return... I'm sure she would... I'm sure she would...


	8. Entry 15

Journal Log, Entry #15-  
Day 8... or maybe 11... I lost track...

Remember how I said that they were torturing ponies? Well, guess who gets to confirm those rumors with their very own eyes... Maybe if my comrades would care to stop for at least a second to look at a compass before heading out again, then maybe we wouldn't be in this horrible mess! Now in all seriousness, I don't think that we will last long here. I mean, even my witty comment and wonderful sense of humor seems to have lost the luster it once retained a few days ago... Consider yourself loved journal, because the simple act of just having an item of this sort is enough to cost me my life, though a quick death might be better than to live what they have put the rest of my friends through already. Now, for the bad news... See, one of the fellow troops has come up with, from what others have told me, an ingenious plan to escape! Sadly however, the chances of them telling me the plan are slim to none. You see, I'm one of the only few down here who hasn't actually been tortured yet, and this has caused the rest of the group to start and formulate their own opinions... I've overheard their whispers, how they think I'm a spy and all... Now, don't get me wrong, but if I really was a spy for the New Lunar Republic, I would think that they would at the very least have the common courtesy to give me a morsel of food every now and then, but it's not like I know how things work around here... I don't know, but at least we are all together in this... even if we can't trust each other...


	9. Entry 16

Journal log, Entry #16-  
Day 13... I think...

I... I don't believe that there are words to describe the... the horrible things that they did to me... I... I'm lucky to still have my body in one piece, and even luckier to have my sight... Even the ability to think is a blessing at this point... I don't even want to begin to think of what they would do if they found this journal... Seeing now that I'm obviously not the spy they thought I was, probably from the large scar across my face, they have decided to let me in on the escape plans. Now from what they tell me, it sounds like a LONG shot... but I've already been through so much while I was here, even his ludicrous plans seem to make more sense than just staying here. We execute this plan within the next few days, and I really hope I can keep you hidden until then journal... Yesterday, one prisoner tried to make a run for it, stabbing a guard in the back with a hoof-made weapon constructed of roots and a sharp stone. Only today that I realize that they were keeping us underground, though the dirt walls should've been a rather clear sign... I'm very sorry to cut this journal short, but I think I hear a guard coming, though seeing the expression and reaction of one of the fellow prisoners, and as much as I want to believe he's just messing with everypony else, I can't take the chance. I just hope to Celestia that those bloody heathens don't find this... and that this won't be my last entry...


	10. Entry 18

Journal Log, Entry #18-  
The day after the escape attempt...

They're dead... everypony... all dead... The guards... my friends... myself... dead... except that I'm alive... well, the only one anyway... then what did I mean when I said 'myself'? I meant that the only way out of this hole in the ground was covered up during the attempt to escape, and now I'm stuck in this accursed underground maze to rot with only this book to keep me occupied, or sane in other words... Oh yea, you THINK that somepony else would have survived, somepony else would be stuck down here, huh? Nope... Why you wonder? Dead... as stated rather clearly earlier... There was one, however... one who did make it... somewhat... I mean, he's dead now because of the blade ridged in his side when I found him... but something surprised me... Even though that this... Lunar Republic scum knew that I was part of the opposing side in the war, he handed me a note with specific instructions to have it delivered to his family in Canterlot... I... haven't looked at the note... just out of common respect towards another pony, and I'm hoping to find a way out of this place before my curiosity eventually gets the better of me...


	11. Entry 19 maybe 20

Journal Log, Entry #19... or #20...  
5 days after the attempt... possibly 8...

I... I read the note... and... and I think it best if I just transferred its contents into this book...

_'To my loving family..._

_If by chance that you receive this message... then I have perished in the field of combat fighting for our magnificent Luna, and I am sorry to leave you like this so suddenly, but please don't mourn my passing... In fact, rejoice! I couldn't have thought of a better way to have lived my life than to have given my life for such a noble cause... other than growing old on the countryside with my beloved wife... and this message is made out for you rather than the rest of our family... My dearest wife... I have left to you a large substantial amount of bits within the Canterlot bank, in hopes that it will support you through your time of grief. Just ask anypony at the coffee shop for the account name... they'll know what you mean... About our two wonderful children... Just... tell them what you think best... and just know that I loved you, even until my dying breath... I'm most certain that you're the last thought my mind could comprehend, and that I'll be seeing your face in my eternal slumber... is more than a blessing in itself... I loved you even the first time we met in school. Heh, remember those days? We were pretty wild back then huh? But... know that I cared for you and the children more than anything else in Equestria. Take care... and I'll be waiting for you on the other side..._

_Love, always until the end of time, your first true love...'_

The address for the letter is printed on the back... Is... is this who we've been fighting against this whole entire time? Have we been killing hard working ponies with loving families? And for what? To decide who gets to rule over us? Owww... I... haven't eaten anything in the past few days, and I'm pretty sure that the freshwater springs down will eventually dry up over time. I guess in the long run, I'm pretty lucky to not have taken a life with my own hooves, but I'm now on a mission... A mission to get this letter to the poor stallion's family, and to escape this place with my life! Whao... I can't get too excited... I'm pretty light headed... Maybe... maybe I'll go rest before I continue to search for an exit... maybe they'll dig me up before so... Wouldn't that be great? Heh, even in these times, I still find a way to make myself chuckle, even if it is crude sarcasm towards myself. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Don't worry mother... I'll return to give you that hug I promised as I walked out the door... and to help father in the family business... and to buy that ring for my special somepony... and maybe even visit my sister's grave... and read you all of my adventures... save a few stories...


	12. Entry 20 something

Journal Entry, I mean Log, or... whatever... #20 something...  
Date: Probably sometime important...

I've searched all up and down these corridors, and I've yet to see a single ray of hope of escape. The last of the lights down here died a day or so ago, and time really isn't a factor anymore, seeing as keeping up with it is rather pointless at this point... I've yet to grow accustomed to the almost pitch blackness. The very main reason that I'm even able to be writing this now is for the fact that I was always able to write with my eyes closed. Never thought the skill would actually come in hoofy one day. I've been many days without food... and I'm starting to feel the effects of which... My body becomes weaker with every passing minute I go without some type of nutrients... and I know of only one way to survive by other means, save eating dirt and rocks... I... really hope it doesn't come to it... and I'd rather starve than resort to... well, you know... There has been a rather awful stench here though, the dead bodies giving off their natural odor... It's sickening... This book really might be the only thing keeping me from going insane. I also have to think about the family as well. I really want to see them again, if only it be once more... But now... in my current state... I wouldn't want them... to see me... All in all... I just hope I get out of here soon...


	13. Entry 20 something again maybe 30

Entry 20 something... could be 30...  
Date... I don't even care anymore...

I... have a confession to make journal... I... I took a bite today... a bite out of a deceased pony... and... my stomach wanted more... even though the taste was simply horrid... I tried to fight it... tried to force myself back... but my gut got the best of me... and before I knew if, I had eaten a dead pony's entire hoof... Again I fought... but resistance was futile... My body lost control... and I could do nothing but watch... watch as it tore through flesh and blood to satisfy my own selfish hunger... I... I'm not even a pony anymore... I've... become a monster... I... don't want to see my family anymore... I don't deserve to have a special somepony... I... don't deserve... to live...


	14. My Final Entry

What will most likely be my final entry...  
Date... The day of my death...

Journal... please forgive me... I... I have lost all control over myself... For the past few days... or weeks... maybe months... I've done nothing but feed at the rotting corpses of the dead... and... I'm sick of it... I've decided since there is nopony around to stop me from becoming the abomination upon Equestria that I am becoming... I'll just have to stop it myself... I'm... taking a blade... and severing my throat... Seeing as I'm going to die down here anyway, I might as well do it while I'm still sound of mind... I leave this journal and the writings within to whoever finds it... and condemn myself... to save myself...

Mother... Father... Sister... forgive me as well... I'm sorry I won't be able to pay my respects sister... and to my special somepony... you deserve better anyway... you always have... but I suppose I shouldn't be too sad... I'm sure they wouldn't want a creature like me around anyhow...

My only regrets... is fighting for this stupid war... and that... I never got the chance to tell father and mother good-bye... one last time... and how I never kept my promise to sis... and taught her how to dance... She always marveled my skill... and I always told her one day I would show her...

I was the average soldier of this war... this was my story... and this is my end... I hope nopony ever has to live what I've been through... and I hope to see my sis on the other side... Heh... doubtful... I never was the nicest of ponies like her...

To anypony who finds this... live life to the fullest... and don't throw it away for something stupid like I did...

For the last... and final time I will ever speak... I am saddened... truly saddened that my final word... was... 'Good-Bye...'


End file.
